Well, for me – I think that forgiving helps us out. If I was to NEVER forgive my abuser- then he would still have “power” over me. It is hard though. Even I find it hard to forgive those that have hurt me.
But we, as individuals have the power to make that choice. To forgive – or not.
I’ve found that not forgiving can be more suffocating than not. I found that if I wanted to be able breathe, literally and figuratively, I had to let go.
As you said temperance, not forgiving is leaving power in the hands of the one who hurt you.
Prior comments have hit the nail on the head. Forgiving the individual(s) who caused the discomfort or pain relieves them of any further power over me whatsoever. Forgiving someone also eridicates from my mind any punishment or correction they may need in order to see what they were/are doing to other humans; that’s up to the deities who handle it so much better than I, and who apply it with perfection.
I feel that when I forgive those who have harm, I fine more peace in my life and more full filling. And I want peace in my life today, And the power has come back to me and that they can’t hurt me no more.
Summer
Forgiveness is one of the great spiritual principles for me. Anger and feeling wronged only takes my power away. Revenge further weakens spirtual energy.
The idea of ‘doing no harm’ would include not harming myself. Holding on to emotional pain can only serve to harm me.
It is worth reading Starhawk’s original article. It is very thoughtful. I am proud that paganism is evolving and being taken more seriously.
I think that there is a time and a place for forgiveness. Even Starhawk said after the abuse stops after the abuser has made amends. In other words after they have acknowledged THEIR part in the situation. Until then, no forgiveness.
Forgiveness is necessary if we are to find peace within ourselves. Holding on to hurt and anger does no one any good. Through forgiveness, we become the stronger, healthier person.
I certainly believe in forgivness. I was raped by my grandfather when I was 12 and after he had done about 15 years in prison he gave me the apology I needed to forgive him. He had finally taken full responsibility for his actions instead of putting either all or some of the blame on me. And when he said he was sorry for hurting me, I knew then that he meant it. He paid for his crime and has now been released.
Ithink that forgiveness is a fine thing as long as it is real. The problem with many peoples concept of forgivness is that many people force the attitude of forgivness because they think they “should”. True forgiveness is most often spontaneous and olny springs after a certain level of healing.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting the wrongs. It is, however, an affirmative step to empowerment ~ taking back control over one’s own life by relinquishing the hold of another over one’s actions and thoughs; negating the power and control of the other in favor of freedom to live.
I believe there are two issues that need to be understood. The first, forgiveness is as has been overwhelmingly understood, a vast benefit for your own self, freeing you from the ties that bind you to your abuser. The second concerns justice, after you have forgiven your abuser it allows you to see, and sometimes participate in true justice, so that the punishment (whether it be jail or the cessation of a friendship) does fit the crime. If you are still desirious of retribution, you have not fully forgiven. When you have forgiven your abuser, you are free, when true justice has been applied then both of you are free.
Comment by yluna mgueuene — November 24, 2007 @ 1:56 am
I have found that forgiveness lies within me. I had to forgive or else be eaten alive. He never even knew I had forgiven him. It really had nothing to do with him, only me. I think we are here to learn certain lessons. Forgiveness was my lesson, not his. I am grateful for this lesson.
Interesting article.
“To err is human, to forgive divine”, I believe the saying goes.
While I am in favor of forgiving those who have wronged me, I still believe that “vengeance is mine sayeth the lord”.
It is so much more satisfactory and fun to watch karma in action.
That is of course, only my opinion.
Peace!
I look at it this way… those most deserving of an action that would bring about the fullness of the threefold law upon us, are least worth the trouble. Besides, there is enough negative energy in the universe already… we are practically mandated to forgive, elsewise we would merely add to the darkness that is already here.
Forgiveness is self-empowering; it takes back any control or power that the person who hurt you had. The greatest revenge is being able to look at someone who at one time had the power to hurt you and think, “you aren’t important enough to care what you do or say anymore.” It’s about taking back your own control, strength and power because when we hate someone or we hold a grudge against someone for something that was done to us, we are saying that they still have the power to hurt us again. If we forgive the deed and turn away, then they lose the ability to hurt us again. Forgiveness is an aspect of the human condition, not necessarily a “christian” value.
i can ,as many others say unjust cruelity has come to me by the hands of others, but i have not the energy to hold on to the hate,or the wish for revenge, my heart, soul and mind wish to hold on to better things in this life…i can only hope that they will one day know the sorrow that they caused myself and others…. and go on in peace
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Well, for me – I think that forgiving helps us out. If I was to NEVER forgive my abuser- then he would still have “power” over me. It is hard though. Even I find it hard to forgive those that have hurt me.
But we, as individuals have the power to make that choice. To forgive – or not.
Comment by Temperance — November 18, 2007 @ 1:51 pm
I’ve found that not forgiving can be more suffocating than not. I found that if I wanted to be able breathe, literally and figuratively, I had to let go.
As you said temperance, not forgiving is leaving power in the hands of the one who hurt you.
Comment by Shiva — November 18, 2007 @ 2:56 pm
Prior comments have hit the nail on the head. Forgiving the individual(s) who caused the discomfort or pain relieves them of any further power over me whatsoever. Forgiving someone also eridicates from my mind any punishment or correction they may need in order to see what they were/are doing to other humans; that’s up to the deities who handle it so much better than I, and who apply it with perfection.
Comment by BeccaBat — November 23, 2007 @ 9:45 am
I feel that when I forgive those who have harm, I fine more peace in my life and more full filling. And I want peace in my life today, And the power has come back to me and that they can’t hurt me no more.
Summer
Comment by Summer — November 23, 2007 @ 9:47 am
Forgiveness is one of the great spiritual principles for me. Anger and feeling wronged only takes my power away. Revenge further weakens spirtual energy.
The idea of ‘doing no harm’ would include not harming myself. Holding on to emotional pain can only serve to harm me.
It is worth reading Starhawk’s original article. It is very thoughtful. I am proud that paganism is evolving and being taken more seriously.
Comment by Margaret — November 23, 2007 @ 11:02 am
I think that there is a time and a place for forgiveness. Even Starhawk said after the abuse stops after the abuser has made amends. In other words after they have acknowledged THEIR part in the situation. Until then, no forgiveness.
Comment by Sue — November 23, 2007 @ 11:09 am
Forgiveness is necessary if we are to find peace within ourselves. Holding on to hurt and anger does no one any good. Through forgiveness, we become the stronger, healthier person.
Comment by Krinak — November 23, 2007 @ 2:26 pm
I certainly believe in forgivness. I was raped by my grandfather when I was 12 and after he had done about 15 years in prison he gave me the apology I needed to forgive him. He had finally taken full responsibility for his actions instead of putting either all or some of the blame on me. And when he said he was sorry for hurting me, I knew then that he meant it. He paid for his crime and has now been released.
Comment by Mary — November 23, 2007 @ 2:54 pm
Ithink that forgiveness is a fine thing as long as it is real. The problem with many peoples concept of forgivness is that many people force the attitude of forgivness because they think they “should”. True forgiveness is most often spontaneous and olny springs after a certain level of healing.
Comment by Ceredwyn — November 23, 2007 @ 6:33 pm
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting the wrongs. It is, however, an affirmative step to empowerment ~ taking back control over one’s own life by relinquishing the hold of another over one’s actions and thoughs; negating the power and control of the other in favor of freedom to live.
Comment by Kate — November 23, 2007 @ 9:54 pm
I believe there are two issues that need to be understood. The first, forgiveness is as has been overwhelmingly understood, a vast benefit for your own self, freeing you from the ties that bind you to your abuser. The second concerns justice, after you have forgiven your abuser it allows you to see, and sometimes participate in true justice, so that the punishment (whether it be jail or the cessation of a friendship) does fit the crime. If you are still desirious of retribution, you have not fully forgiven. When you have forgiven your abuser, you are free, when true justice has been applied then both of you are free.
Comment by yluna mgueuene — November 24, 2007 @ 1:56 am
I have found that forgiveness lies within me. I had to forgive or else be eaten alive. He never even knew I had forgiven him. It really had nothing to do with him, only me. I think we are here to learn certain lessons. Forgiveness was my lesson, not his. I am grateful for this lesson.
Comment by Joyce — November 24, 2007 @ 10:23 am
Interesting article.
“To err is human, to forgive divine”, I believe the saying goes.
While I am in favor of forgiving those who have wronged me, I still believe that “vengeance is mine sayeth the lord”.
It is so much more satisfactory and fun to watch karma in action.
That is of course, only my opinion.
Peace!
Comment by Ra — November 24, 2007 @ 7:13 pm
I look at it this way… those most deserving of an action that would bring about the fullness of the threefold law upon us, are least worth the trouble. Besides, there is enough negative energy in the universe already… we are practically mandated to forgive, elsewise we would merely add to the darkness that is already here.
Comment by Cedalion — November 24, 2007 @ 8:28 pm
Forgiveness is self-empowering; it takes back any control or power that the person who hurt you had. The greatest revenge is being able to look at someone who at one time had the power to hurt you and think, “you aren’t important enough to care what you do or say anymore.” It’s about taking back your own control, strength and power because when we hate someone or we hold a grudge against someone for something that was done to us, we are saying that they still have the power to hurt us again. If we forgive the deed and turn away, then they lose the ability to hurt us again. Forgiveness is an aspect of the human condition, not necessarily a “christian” value.
Comment by Sheila — November 26, 2007 @ 6:59 pm
i can ,as many others say unjust cruelity has come to me by the hands of others, but i have not the energy to hold on to the hate,or the wish for revenge, my heart, soul and mind wish to hold on to better things in this life…i can only hope that they will one day know the sorrow that they caused myself and others…. and go on in peace
Comment by windy — December 2, 2007 @ 10:54 am